dreaming I've been dreaming infinitely now. All I can think of nowadays is how nice it would be to cuddle up to someone, share an inside joke, lazing around having a picnic and being sung to. It's all crap and love and bubbles of temporary joy and I definitely realize that.

Some days I think of all the people I've let go and people I wish could be something different and how absolutely and immensely I want to change a part of my life. But like I said, it's all crap.

Haven't you met that one person who you think you connected with but turns out, s/he didn't exactly feel the same way? Or you read the 'signals' wrong? I can think of two people whom, at a point, I really really liked and suddenly just slipped away. Don't you just hate situations like these? The slipped away circumstance. The never-going-back line. The there-is-no-point-telling-them-now-because-it-was-so-long-ago-and-it-would-make-no-sense-now. And these are the people I still have immense respect for and I would never want to spoil things with them. Sigh.

So now I'm dreaming of my perfect date. A movie, a walk through a REAL flea market and a Damien Rice concert at a nice place where we can have dinner at the same time. And this should and can only all happen in the UK or US. Because Damien Rice doesn't come to Singapore. Or Greg Laswell for that matter as well.

I keep telling myself its all not at the right time but I know I am at an incredible disadvantage with my height, my size and the way I dress. I do realise I am not really the tallest of girls and maybe I should be thankful of that. But when you live in a place like Singapore where some, or should I say, most guys are only my height or a little taller -say 5cm- it doesn't leave much room for a girl like me. And don't deny it men, you like them small, tiny, itty bitty girls who frequent blogshops and Home Club/Butter Factory. Ugh, screw this. This gets me nowhere you know?!

Yeah? Screw you.


Random note: You enjoy the attention don't you? And that's why you tell all your stories. Kalau suka tu, cakap je la suka kan? Kalau tak suka, you won't even bring it up! Because it's embarrassing! And when they ask how it was you wanna act all EWWW! THEY'RE SO GROSS by like saying things like IT SUCKED? Just fucking admit you like the attention already. You're so predictable.  ¶ 2:09 AM