in love first day of theatre works production thingy
i'm already lethargic for some reason
and i'm lonely.

i hate being at home all alone
it depresses me
and makes me wanna cry
i hate coming home to an empty house
it always hits me how empty life is somewhat
it's depressing


i had a meltdown today
i screamed, shouted, cursed and whined
it was really surreal.
i tend to panic but i've never had a meltdown
i actually teared because i couldn't find my handphone
i found it in my bag later
i sat on my couch and cried.
i blame hormones but i blame myself more.


i wanna have someone stable in my life
someone to end the day with
not a boyfriend per se
but maybe a cat that would curl up in my lap
to purr against my cheek and lull me to sleep
unforch, no such luck.


today, i got my first average marks.
it's stressing.
i wanna do well.
many chances to buck up
but i need a few hours by the beach
sleeping with the sand between my toes.


i'm blue.
but nenek's damn fun
and so is drama.  ¶ 11:44 PM