different So let's make today a very different Monday. With a longer, comprehensive, coherent posting. Everything I have plugged in is on a constant loop. And I like it like that. On loop. Repeat, rewind, loop, loop, bloop.

Sigh. I'm actually very tired of the way I'm living. I can't wait for things to become stagnant. For things to be empty. For everyone to just disappear for a while. But I just want that one person to be my side on a long stretch of beach. With the wind in our hair, whispering sweet lullabies. Just looking at the person by my side, getting a smile and a hug. God, I miss my mother. Where is she to give me the warmest most loving hug in the WORLD? Sigh. Halfway across the world.


So Monday was surprisingly mellow. I love the first four periods on Mondays. Sigh. It'll change soon I guess. There was no Chemistry.

Shit la. Somehow I really don't like talking about my day. We caught fishes. And drugged them. HAH.

So yes. I think I've lost all my blogging skills.

My dear. How do you do what you do and make me feel like the scum of the Universe? It's something I can never master. You do know that this gap will only grow? You scoff and I wonder if you'll ever leave me alone? I'm prepared to lose you.
I'm begining to wonder if all the quarrels that I kicked up is just so I can feel again. When you say fine, everything moves in slow motion. And I wonder. Have I? I think so.
There's nothing left to feel. The only thing I can't stop is to wonder. Why? My head's like the Riddler. Why'd you stop? Why'd you leave? Why.
But I realise that I've faded into the background. And you still shine. If only for your spot.


And my other. That was the breaking point. Never in a million years would I have had a thought that a friend like you could make me feel as sad and disappointed as you have. And the thing is, you don't even realise the immensity of the situation. I'm not one to hold grudges against the people I love the most. The people who stand by me. But what you did. It pains me. It could be trivial to you, but it showed me so much. How you would put one before me and how I'm just another nobody.
Oh woah. The silence hurts the most. Words just can't reach the depths of what silence can.
One you'd go running to when they pout and give you puppy-dog eyes. I suppose I can too. But I hate emotional blackmail. To my defence, I'm taller and have longer hair. Bah.


All my abstract thoughts have taken a haitus.  ¶ 8:53 PM