stop it all
i really really feel like you're avoiding me
please stop it please..
i miss u so bad now im crying and im ashamed of it
i promised myself to walk away but i fear that it's getting harder by the minute
im not eating or sleeping right
everytime i eat i feel like vomiting
i really hate it
im ashamed and disgusted that i broke you so many times
and i just kept doing it
you told me you'd tell me when i did it and would scold me to stop
but you just kept quiet
you know i really care for you
you know i really treasure you
why are you ignoring it all?
this is so one sided
one minute i hate you coz you can't appreciate my care and concern
and the next im so miserable that i can't reach out to you
im crying and crying without a cause or reason
i just hate it
im ashamed with myself
why did i do all that i did?
why?
i really dont wanna lose you
so we didn't work out
but i don't wanna lose you as a friend either
what am i to you now?
and why do i have to wait for the answer
while you torment me further with your icy cold words?
there's only so much i can take
and to think about it
i think i was a fair friend to you
i supported you
i cared
i didnt give away your secrets
heck i didnt even wanna believe the things people say about you even when i think its kinda logical
i just hid something from you
i told you didnt i?
and i told you to keep it between us
between us.
all my care n support and concern didn't just come cuz you were mine
its genuine
i would care for you even if you weren't mine
of course i wouldnt be at every match
but i'd be behind you
all the time
even when you told me you were hopeless
or even when you feel or think that you are
i have an unbelievable amount of faith in you
and you couldnt see it.
even when we were friends,
i didnt even know you for long
but i know you're not hopeless
you just gotta put your heart and faith in the right places
but where are you now?
where?
you tell me you're not ignoring me
you told me you'd always be here for me
are they lies? broken promises?
you're there for her prolly
i dont wanna be another her
no pls..no..
i dont.
but i feel like i deserve all this
because of the way i treated you
was i really that bad?
that you can't even face me now?
or talk to me properly
without taking 2hours to reply or whatever?
do i really deserve your cruel treatment?
i still love you.
whatever that means to you now
i know it one sided and all
but im channeling it to another place
i worry about you.
but i guess your mom can do that.
what am i to you now?
despite all that i've done
i loved you honestly
dont tell me to forget you in a snap
its an insult
and even worse i hurts when i feel that you mean it
i dont know if you'd hurt if i moved on after like a month or two
so i made a choice between you and someone else..
that doesnt mean that its always that easy
do u mean it?
to forget you just like that
aw shit. i cant even begin to explain how impossible that is
enough of this.
i think im off to puke.
